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[personal profile] ru
[personal profile] impersona was in need of a story. So I wrote her one on the spot. <3 And then she double scoop dared me to post it, AND WHO AM I TO TURN DOWN A DOUBLE SCOOP DARE.

So here it is, for your enjoyment, in its off-the-cuff format (which basically means I copied it directly from gchat):

Once upon a time, there was a banana! It was a very green banana, and all the other bananas made fun of him, because they were all pretty and yellow.

Banana was very sad, and cried a lot. But then one day his fairy bananamother came, and gave him hope! "DO NOT WORRY, BANANA," she said "ONE DAY YOU WILL BE A GREAT AND WONDERFUL BANANA AND ALL THE OTHER BANANAS WILL LOVE YOU." And Banana said, "That's great! Would you stop screaming?"

So Banana went on his fruity way, and tried to keep his spirits up. One by one all the other bananas were eaten, as befitting bananas. Our friend Banana willed and willed and willed with all his might to turn yellow, for surely it would soon be his turn!

AND THEN. One day, he looked in the reflection of the kitchen window, and to his surprise, he found he wasn't quite so green as before!

THIS WAS VERY EXCITING. He willed some more, and he became more yellow! And more yellow! And even more yellow!

"HOORAY!" thought Banana, "Soon I will be as yellow as the other bananas and then I will be eaten!"

And so Banana waited for the day when he would be eaten. At that point he was the only banana left. But tragically, the person who had bought the bunch had grown tired of bananas every day, and missed out on that perfect point at which Banana was perfect to be eaten.

Banana started to grow spots, at which point the person that bought the bunch wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He sat on the counter, alone and forgotten, turning browner and browner.

Banana started to cry. "Oh why," he lamented, "Why did I have to be the last one? I'm so lonely now!" That's when his fairy bananamother came back again.

"WELL THIS IS SOMEWHAT UNEXPECTED," she said, "BUT TAKE HEART, BANANA. I STILL SEE A GOOD FUTURE FOR YOU." Banana cried again. "How?" he asked, "How can you?" "IT'S A MYSTERY" Banana godmother said, and disappeared in a cloud of ethylene.

And so Banana sat and sat. And then one day, he found himself getting picked up! He got very excited. Maybe now was when he was going to be eaten! He was peeled! This made him even more excited!

And then he was put in a bowl. Well this was very disconcerting, he thought. And then others were put into the bowl with him. "Who are you all?" he asked as he swirled about with the others, mingling as the spoon turned. "We're sugar!" some little white creatures said as they whizzed by, "I'm an egg!" another said before it mingled with Banana.

"What are you all doing here?" he asked, "I'm a banana. I was peeled. I was supposed to be eaten!"

"You will be!" a chorus of raisins said joyously, "You were perfect to join us! You'll be our friend, won't you? You seem very sweet." "Oh yes!" a cloud of baking soda said, "Very sweet indeed! We like you very much!" "Really?" Banana said, "Gosh, how nice!"

"We're all going to be eaten together!" The milk said, "And you're the whole reason behind it, Banana!" Banana would have blushed, if bananas could, and if he wasn't already incorporated with all the other ingredients. Still, he was deliriously happy, "This is like a dream come true!" he said as they were all popped into the oven. And it truly was, for it is the dream of every forgotten banana to become banana bread.
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July 2017


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