ru: (Default)
Dear Weather,

Hi! Hope things have been going well for you. Listen, I don't want to sound unappreciative, or anything, because believe me, I love 70 degree weather. If I could, I'd love to have 70 degree weather all year round. It's like my ideal weather temperature. But seriously, this has got to stop. It's the end of frickin' November. We've put up the damn Christmas tree. By all rights, it should be frosting on a regular basis and I should be breaking out the scarf and gloves. Please, start doing the cold thing soon. You're confusing the hell out of my Japanese magnolia. It's leafing out, and while I know that if it were really gearing up for spring, it'd flower first, I don't want it to be damaged by a sudden cold snap. I've already lost one tree in that area. Don't want to lose another. So, in summary, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET BACK ON TRACK.

No love,
ru: (Default)
Things which tried to puncture me yesterday:

--A murderous side-tag in my shirt, which kept poking me incessantly, despite the fact that I've worn the shirt several times before and never had a problem with it. Dunno why it decided to turn on me.
--A rogue staple from a specimen cover. Not quite as distressing.
--Much more distressingly, something in my lunch, possibly an errant were-spice from my leftover pizza or a nonexistent seed from my supposedly seedless grapes, managed to stick itself into my soft palette. Not only was it, you know, painful, but upon discovering it, I had to supress the urge to run around the lunch area in a panic screaming "AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH! I'M BEING SPEARED FROM THE INSIDE OMG SAVE ME!!". Instead, since I couldn't get it out with my tongue, I sacrificed my dignity to blatantly stick my finger in my mouth and scrape it out that way. Oh yes, that was classy.

Strangely, the one thing I was totally expecting to puncture me was a clipping of Solanum quitoense, also known as "Bed of Nails" (for obvious reasons). Oddly, it didn't. Go figure.

Either way, there has been a lot of inanimate-objects-trying-to-turn-me-into-a-human-pincushion lately, including a honey locust harpoon spine and an errant piece of metal on a microscope. Why has the world been trying to impale me? Hm. That sounds like a line of Kada-style bad emo poetry. "Thorns and spears and spines and knives/Endlessly driving towards me/Why is the world trying to impale me?/I don't know, but I'll stab it right back" XD
ru: (Default)
Today we were driving along a road near the house--not a horrendously busy road, but it does see its share of traffic. As we were traveling down this road, we came upon a small pack of teenage boys on skateboards. Now, this road we were traveling on didn't have much in the way of sidewalks, seeing as rows of sycamore trees were pretty much occupying the area where a sidewalk would be. In fact, it was pretty much a non-car-or-bike-friendly road. So what was the logical thing for these boys to do? Skateboard in the middle of the friggin' road, of course! Not only that, but they were doing their Joe Cool skateboard impression in the opposite lane--yet going in the same direction of us. So they were skateboarding in the middle of oncoming traffic, with no real escape routes. Yeah. You're cool, guys.

I guess the god-this-is-really-stupid protrusion of the common sense center of their collective brains hasn't fully developed yet. Alternatively, if they're not careful, they're going to be bucking to be the poster boys for Darwinism at work.

On a different note, I was feeling particularly hormonal and grouchy today, so I decided a good cure (since there was no chocolate to be had) would be to go to some of the bath shops at the mall. After all, I was thinking about stocking up on soap, and nice smelling things might help me to not be quite so arrrg-ish. It turned out to be a bad idea. For one, I was not in the mood to interact with people, so of course this prompted salespeople to gravitate towards me--seriously, if I need your help, I'll come find you. Don't worry! Second, while walking into one of the stores I was hit with a deliciously lovely whiff of what smelled like cinnamon and pumpkin. Mmm. Now that could be worth buying soap, even bath bubbly stuff of. Now that in and of itself wasn't bad. The fact that I decided to try and discern the sourse of this lovely scent was. Since they had a fall display out, I thought maybe I would find it there. Exploring it, I found something that appeared to be pumpkin-pie scented.

They had a sample bottle out for it, so I tried the tried and true method of open-the-bottle-and-sniff. This, bizarrely, didn't quite give me an indication of what it smelled like. So, I decided the next best thing would be to put the lotion on and see. So I squirted some on my hands, rubbed, and, well, all I have to say is: ew. It had the greasy consistency of butter that's been sitting out for way too long, and smelled the same too. I tried to wash it off and put on one of the more inoffensive lotions, but I can still smell the rancid butter smell on my hand, even several hours later. Maybe I needed to shake it or something, but I was turned off by the whole experience.

In retrospect, it might've been a good idea to try getting an idea of some of the other scents on the fall display before moving onto the actual sampling part, but ah well. Live and learn.
ru: (Default)
Cut for discussion of things with twice as much as four legs )

In other news, there is a plant genus called Pimpinella. I am childish enough to find this highly amusing. XD
ru: (angry fleas with KNIVES)
Dear Free-Floating Electrons,

Stop it. I am sick and tired of being your own personal conduit. My mother didn't raise me to be a circuit, so stop thinking you can all gather up on my person and then shortcut your way onto something new the moment I touch anything metal. I mean it. I am not your personal chauffeur. I'm starting to develop a fear of faucets and car doors because of you, and when I touched a coat hook today the surge you guys made when you all screamed "METAL COAT HOOK!" and ran nearly brought tears to my eyes, because that HURT. I'm getting shocked by drinking fountain water of all things, and as far as I'm concerned, enough is enough.

Find some other way to get around other than my body. Damn freeloaders.

No love,

July 2017



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