And now, a rant

[ru]

I've been meaning to do this. Since they're in full bloom now, it seems now would be a good time.


A few nights ago, I was walking to the dining hall on what was surely a lovely evening. The air was cool, the breeze warm, and not a cloud in the sky. Surely this was the sign that spring was on the way. And then, I smelled it: A rancid odor on the air, a smell that made my nose recoil in horror as my mind conjured up images of dead fish lying in the sun, rotting.

A scent of DOOM.

I looked around, and found the source: A huge, yet harmless looking tree putting out oodles and oodles of little, white, popcorn-like flowers.

I sighed inwardly. This was the true sign of spring: The Bradford pears were blooming.

As a general rule, I've never met a plant I didn't like. This is not to say that I go rolling in stinging nettle patches on a regular basis, but if there's something a plant does that is detrimental to me or others, I don't really take that as something I should hold against it. In a way, I find it fascinating: Plants have reasons for doing things, and it's interesting to find out why they did it. So I take the necessary precautions (like, say, not taste testing nightshade berries), and admire their qualities from a distance.

My region of residence, however, really pushes my limits when it comes to Bradford pears. It's gotten to the point where I really, *really* don't like them. They are everywhere, and it drives me crazy. The people who plan landscaping and the like really need to get it into their heads that there are better plants to use for landscaping than Bradfords.

I think I can pinpoint why they are so enamoured of them: 1.) They're cheap. 2.) They grow fast, so you get the look of an old neighborhood in a relatively short period of time. I'm sure that drives up prices somwehre. 3.) This may be an attribute specific to my town, seeing as they are obsessed with CONFORMITY and BEIGE AND BRICK FOR ALL, but they are uniform in shape. We are the Bradford pears. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. 4.) They look nice. I don't deny that they look nice, because they do. But there are some things that make Bradfords a less-than-ideal plant: 1.) The smell. GOD, they smell awful. They really do smell like rotten fish. I'm almost certain I read somewhere that Bradford pears' natural pollinators are flies. And what would be a great way to attract flies? Well, the smell of rotting fish flesh might be a spectacular way to do it! THIS SHOULD BE A RED FLAG. 2.) Because they grow fast, they are brittle, and they don't last long. I think their average life span is something like 15 years. 3.) The angle at which the branches fork is all wrong. You get some snow and ice on them, and the trees start dropping branches like they were fashion plates learning that 'sleek' and 'slim' are the new looks this season.

I could handle a couple Bradfords, I think. Maybe one at the corner of the street, or maybe a couple on a roadside. But instead, they are EVERYWHERE. They line the streets, they surround buildings, they're put up next to houses, they're planted in parking lots, they're seen in huge clumps along the highway, they're used for landscaping doghouses, they pervade everything with their horrible fishy smell. The town just can't get enough of those wild and crazy Bradfords!

I really wish they'd step back, let go of their hardheadedness for a moment, and see (and smell) what they're planting. Maybe they'd realize that looks aren't everything. There are other plants that would work much better as landscaping trees. Cherry trees, for instance. They don't grow as fast, and they're a little more expensive, but they look nice, and they smell a lot better. Maples are nice too. They really need to realize that there are other choices out there that won't rape our noses every time we go outside.

And another thing: Whilst I was doing research for my grad presentation, I found a database (run by the USDA, I want to say), listing invasive species in the area. Bradford pears were on there. The way to keep them from spreading, listed on this official website? "DON'T PLANT BRADFORD PEARS."

I really don't hold it against the trees themselves. It's the way they are, and it's not their fault that the town feels it necessary to put one every twelve feet. They have their place in the world. It's just not as the landscaping darling of town governments.

I'm done now.

Comments

[peppermintberry.livejournal.com]

Ooh, those do sound nice to have around in mass quantities. Do they make fruit too, or do they just flower and that's it? Either way, methinks my local government could learn a thing or two from yours about good landscaping choices. ^_^;