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Lately, my parents have been at me to get more driving experience in. Okay, fine. I know I need to do it, and I think I've been doing better about it than I've been in the past. I think yesterday's interstate escapade can attest to that. I've not been a passenger at all this weekend, driving everyone else everywhere and whatnot. So, it wasn't a huge surprise to me when mom had me drive us to the grocery store. Okay, fine. This required me backing out of the garage and out of the driveway without hitting my dad's car or falling off the driveway. Well, I'm still not the best in the world at it, but okay, fine.

That's when I misjudged how far away I was from the non-driveway part and ran over one of the daylilies. WAAAAH. You could smell the broken leaves and everything. IT WAS LIKE PLANT BLOOD. I then proceeded to drive the rest of the trip trying very hard not to completely burst into tears and thinking to myself "I KILLED IT. ;_____;"

I know it's probably ridiculuous for me to get so worked up over it. My parents weren't mad at me, and there are worse things in the world for me to cry over, but somehow, it made me really really upset. Mom was of the opinion that it would probably survive, but as far as I could tell, I really don't see how! I ran over it with a frickin' car! It was flat in the way only a thing that's been run over could be flat!

It was one of my favorite daylilies too. ;_;

I guess what's bothering me is that it didn't *have* to be run over. If I was better at backing up, it wouldn't have been hurt. Furthermore, it was run over by me driving a car. One of the hang ups I've had about driving a car is that I'm basically in control of a large conglomeration of plastic and metal and could easily kill someone if I wasn't paying attention. I think this proves my point.

I know for that herbarium project for systematics, I'm gonna have to damage some plants. It's kinda part of the job. But at least that has a purpose. Me running over a daylily and killing it won't solve or help anything. Meh. And then we get into questions of ethics and everything and...this just sucks all the way around. -_-

I took a look at what sort of damage I did when we got home. Maybe, just maybe it actually didn't get killed by me running over it. It looks more like it got bent over rather than crushed and killed. I guess I'll have to watch it. Even so, I watered it while all the time saying "I'm sorry. ;_;" over and over in my head.

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