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Dec. 9th, 2006 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ruWhen I was little, The Polar Express was a book that was frequently brought out during the holidays. Even now, it ranks as one of my favorite Christmas books. This is probably a large part of the reason why I wasn't too excited when the movie adaptation came out--I find it very hard to believe that a full-length movie could be made out of a children's book that's as short as it was, and that it could be made good. Last night, I caught the movie on TV and discovered I was proven right. Aside from the fact that I didn't care much for the animation, I found it to be ripe with mocking moments.
--Mmm, the hole ripping on the kid's robe. That's not foreshadowing, oh no.
--My god, that's not a kid, that's Mandark! IT'S MANDARK! A-HAHA! A-HAHAHAHA! A-HAHA!
--Hm, call me crazy, but does the conductor have the exact same exchange with every kid he picks up?
--Hey, I didn't know the Riverdance people did catering too!
--Aaaaand, why exactly do we need to climb over the top of the cars in order to get to the locomotive? Can't we just go through them? Oh, I forgot, it's more dramatic!
--Okay, the caribou were cute, but...um...does anyone know how to speak caribou well enough to ask a herd of them to move? Let alone know how to yank on a guy's beard to get the correct inflections from his yelping to communicate to said caribou that you want them to move?
--So there are elves specifically trained to jump from bungees and retrieve falling Christmas star toppers (like it's a regular occurrence anyway) that would be impossible to lift by them and subsequently catapult it back up onto the tree in the same bungee jump. Good, good.
--No, kid! Don't give your present to that elf! DON'T TRUST HIM! HE'S EVIL!
--Ah, so Santa is holy! He has that whole mystical halo-esque aura around him and everything!
--Okay, conductor, we get what you're trying to do, teaching the kids what they need to do to better themselves with words punched on their cards, and it's a nice idea, but since you have to explain it to all of them, THEY OBVOUSLY DON'T GET IT.
--Steve Tyler...as an elf... *headsplode*
Per what seems to be the case almost all the time, the book was way better.
--Mmm, the hole ripping on the kid's robe. That's not foreshadowing, oh no.
--My god, that's not a kid, that's Mandark! IT'S MANDARK! A-HAHA! A-HAHAHAHA! A-HAHA!
--Hm, call me crazy, but does the conductor have the exact same exchange with every kid he picks up?
--Hey, I didn't know the Riverdance people did catering too!
--Aaaaand, why exactly do we need to climb over the top of the cars in order to get to the locomotive? Can't we just go through them? Oh, I forgot, it's more dramatic!
--Okay, the caribou were cute, but...um...does anyone know how to speak caribou well enough to ask a herd of them to move? Let alone know how to yank on a guy's beard to get the correct inflections from his yelping to communicate to said caribou that you want them to move?
--So there are elves specifically trained to jump from bungees and retrieve falling Christmas star toppers (like it's a regular occurrence anyway) that would be impossible to lift by them and subsequently catapult it back up onto the tree in the same bungee jump. Good, good.
--No, kid! Don't give your present to that elf! DON'T TRUST HIM! HE'S EVIL!
--Ah, so Santa is holy! He has that whole mystical halo-esque aura around him and everything!
--Okay, conductor, we get what you're trying to do, teaching the kids what they need to do to better themselves with words punched on their cards, and it's a nice idea, but since you have to explain it to all of them, THEY OBVOUSLY DON'T GET IT.
--Steve Tyler...as an elf... *headsplode*
Per what seems to be the case almost all the time, the book was way better.