Drabble #1: On Daffodils and Loss
May. 19th, 2009 10:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ruFor Angie. <3
There was a moment's hesitation in the upswing of Anika's axe before it came clattering down, splitting one log into two with a loud crack. She paused, focusing on the princess assisting her. "Why? That's obvious. Because I have to."
"But why do you have to?" Toffee, asked, picking up another log and placing it on the scored stump. Anika waited patiently while Toffee balanced it so that it wouldn't fall over before the northerner got the axe to it. She was a good girl, Anika had decided. Not all the members of more royal blood in their motley band of heroes would help with the task of chopping firewood. They were lazy wastes of space, Anika said. Anyone worth their weight would be willing to make themselves useful when the situation called for it, even for mundane things like household tasks. It helped that she wasn't a prick about things either. "Moira said you nearly decked Chloe when she tried to take them off of you. Why is it so important that you hold onto them?"
A little smile creeped over Anika's face at the thought of the look on Chloe's face when Anika violently resisted her attempts to clean Anika up. It was a rare moment when she felt she truly got the better of her. She shifted the axe from one hand to another before raising it high over her head, bringing it down with enough force to split the wood. It gave her a moment to think. She tucked the two matching daffodil pendants back under her shirt, where they would be protected from flying debris and those who were a little too overzealous about making Anika into a respectable woman. She wasn't in the mood to punch anyone. "They're a reminder, Toffee," she said, the edge taken off of her gruff voice, "of what I've lost. Of why I'm out here."
"Your friend?" The temporary woodcutter nodded silently. Toffee considered this thought while she placed another log in position. "But you care about her a lot. Why would you forget about her if you took them off for a little while? I could hold them for a while if you're afraid of losing them."
Anika glanced at her, a wry little smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. "It's not so much about the pendants themselves. It's what they mean. They mean I haven't given up on her. It's like...like wearing a wedding ring. You could take it off and still be married, but the commitment, the symbol, isn't there anymore. Someone might think you're single, even though you're not." Crack.
"That makes sense, I think." Toffee pushed a golden curl out of her face and started moving the split wood off to the side while Anika took a drink from the nearby bucket. "Anika, can I ask you something?"
Anika raised bottle green eyes to the princess in mid-slurp, wiping her mouth on her sleeve as she dropped the ladle back into the bucket. "What is it?"
Toffee paused, as if the act of asking would cause the girl to lash out. "Why do you keep trying to find her? You've been doing it for so long. Aren't you afraid of never finding her?"
Anika's gaze drifted to the ground, softened. "Always," she said, "but I have to believe that isn't the case. I have to keep searching. She would do the same for me. And...I can't bear the thought of losing her forever. I think I would know it if she were--but it still hurts. Do you miss your family, Toffee?"
The young girl answered immediately. "Of course! I mean, we don't always get along, but I still miss them."
"What does it feel like?"
Toffee considered while she stacked logs. "I guess it feels like there's something missing. Like I should be seeing my parents and my sisters today, like I always do, but I'm not."
"Now imagine if you didn't know where they were. They just disappeared."
Toffee's gaze softened, a touch of sadness creeping into her voice. "I'd want to find them, make sure they're okay. I see what you mean."
Anika nodded as she helped Toffee pile the wood. "I don't know why she left or what's happened to her, and it hurts. It's like there's a hole in me. It never closes." Maybe that's why I wear the pendants, to keep that hole from showing. "I can't stop. Not without knowing. It keeps me going," It seemed as if something had broken inside of Anika, and the words flowed freely out of the normally icy woman at the thought of her best friend, "In my heart, I know I can find her. It's like losing something precious in a lake. It's gone...but it's not. You know it's at the bottom of the lake, somewhere, and with luck and the right fishing pole, it just might come back again. I won't give up on her."
Toffee offered a smile to Anika, hopeful and supportive. "I think you've got the right fishing mindset. She's lucky to have a friend like you."
The little smile returned, this time more genuine as Anika gathered up an armful of the wood to bring back. "Thanks."
There was a moment's hesitation in the upswing of Anika's axe before it came clattering down, splitting one log into two with a loud crack. She paused, focusing on the princess assisting her. "Why? That's obvious. Because I have to."
"But why do you have to?" Toffee, asked, picking up another log and placing it on the scored stump. Anika waited patiently while Toffee balanced it so that it wouldn't fall over before the northerner got the axe to it. She was a good girl, Anika had decided. Not all the members of more royal blood in their motley band of heroes would help with the task of chopping firewood. They were lazy wastes of space, Anika said. Anyone worth their weight would be willing to make themselves useful when the situation called for it, even for mundane things like household tasks. It helped that she wasn't a prick about things either. "Moira said you nearly decked Chloe when she tried to take them off of you. Why is it so important that you hold onto them?"
A little smile creeped over Anika's face at the thought of the look on Chloe's face when Anika violently resisted her attempts to clean Anika up. It was a rare moment when she felt she truly got the better of her. She shifted the axe from one hand to another before raising it high over her head, bringing it down with enough force to split the wood. It gave her a moment to think. She tucked the two matching daffodil pendants back under her shirt, where they would be protected from flying debris and those who were a little too overzealous about making Anika into a respectable woman. She wasn't in the mood to punch anyone. "They're a reminder, Toffee," she said, the edge taken off of her gruff voice, "of what I've lost. Of why I'm out here."
"Your friend?" The temporary woodcutter nodded silently. Toffee considered this thought while she placed another log in position. "But you care about her a lot. Why would you forget about her if you took them off for a little while? I could hold them for a while if you're afraid of losing them."
Anika glanced at her, a wry little smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. "It's not so much about the pendants themselves. It's what they mean. They mean I haven't given up on her. It's like...like wearing a wedding ring. You could take it off and still be married, but the commitment, the symbol, isn't there anymore. Someone might think you're single, even though you're not." Crack.
"That makes sense, I think." Toffee pushed a golden curl out of her face and started moving the split wood off to the side while Anika took a drink from the nearby bucket. "Anika, can I ask you something?"
Anika raised bottle green eyes to the princess in mid-slurp, wiping her mouth on her sleeve as she dropped the ladle back into the bucket. "What is it?"
Toffee paused, as if the act of asking would cause the girl to lash out. "Why do you keep trying to find her? You've been doing it for so long. Aren't you afraid of never finding her?"
Anika's gaze drifted to the ground, softened. "Always," she said, "but I have to believe that isn't the case. I have to keep searching. She would do the same for me. And...I can't bear the thought of losing her forever. I think I would know it if she were--but it still hurts. Do you miss your family, Toffee?"
The young girl answered immediately. "Of course! I mean, we don't always get along, but I still miss them."
"What does it feel like?"
Toffee considered while she stacked logs. "I guess it feels like there's something missing. Like I should be seeing my parents and my sisters today, like I always do, but I'm not."
"Now imagine if you didn't know where they were. They just disappeared."
Toffee's gaze softened, a touch of sadness creeping into her voice. "I'd want to find them, make sure they're okay. I see what you mean."
Anika nodded as she helped Toffee pile the wood. "I don't know why she left or what's happened to her, and it hurts. It's like there's a hole in me. It never closes." Maybe that's why I wear the pendants, to keep that hole from showing. "I can't stop. Not without knowing. It keeps me going," It seemed as if something had broken inside of Anika, and the words flowed freely out of the normally icy woman at the thought of her best friend, "In my heart, I know I can find her. It's like losing something precious in a lake. It's gone...but it's not. You know it's at the bottom of the lake, somewhere, and with luck and the right fishing pole, it just might come back again. I won't give up on her."
Toffee offered a smile to Anika, hopeful and supportive. "I think you've got the right fishing mindset. She's lucky to have a friend like you."
The little smile returned, this time more genuine as Anika gathered up an armful of the wood to bring back. "Thanks."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-20 03:11 am (UTC)Thank you ever so much!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-22 01:42 am (UTC)I think out of the royals Anika has her pick of on her team, Toffee's her favorite. They can connect on some level, which probably boggles Anika, because geez, princesses are nothing but trouble. XD